Furry Vengeance (Film Review)

In cinemas now [PG]
Director: Roger Kumble
Runtime: 92 mins.
Furry Vengeance, the newest offering from Cruel Intentions’ director Roger Kumble, is a confronting assault of things that will make your stomach churn and your brain bleed. Delivering eco-friendly and pro-family messages in an insincere and highly botoxed, computer-generated and all-American way. Furry Vengeance offers a steaming pile of filmic garbage – complete with gratuitous amounts of punishingly un-funny slapstick gags and numerous backwards depictions of ethnic minorities.
Brendan Fraser stars as Dan Sanders, a project developer who has shifted his family from the big city to Rocky Springs, Oregon. Dan is a mid-level executive whose demanding boss, Mr Lyman (Ken Jeong), has entrusted him with the redevelopment of the peaceful Rocky Spring forest into a new housing complex. Sensing the impending destruction of their natural habitat by the supposedly eco-friendly development company, the CGI animals of Rocky Springs retaliate. Dan soon finds himself plagued by a host of nature’s most deviant woodland creatures, intent on ushering his obese frame into total psychiatric collapse – slapstick ensues. The animals humiliate Sanders with a barrage of urine, skunk spray, port-a-loo shenanigans and incessant, nocturnal window tapping. Dan becomes so fixated upon destroying his pint-sized tormentors that he alienates himself from his long-suffering wife (Brooke Shields) and lanky teenage son (Matt Prokop). Inevitably, the film concludes with Dan recognising the error of his ways and joining forces with the animals to punish the evil Mr Lyman.
As a long-time fan of both wacky children’s films and brutal vengeance movies I was excited about the possibilities of this movie. Sadly, the ‘vengeance’ in the title is more Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, than Lady Vengeance. Not to be outdone by his CGI co-stars, Fraser debases himself in a series of repetitive, cringe-inducing scenes: his paunchy mass is seen squeezed into several different kinds of women’s clothing and bathed inexplicably in sweet chilli sauce. Fraser doesn’t lend himself well to this kind of comedy – his rubber face grimaces and groans gruesomely as he tumbles chaotically through numerous morosely unfunny scenarios. The character of Mr Lyman presents a controversial Asian stereotype, the like of which I haven’t seen since Dong from John Hughes’ Sixteen Candles – resorting to screaming high-pitched, Asian-sounding noises and kung-fu moves to display frustrations. The CGI animals were ghastly, though I am grateful they did not speak, their giggles and squeals of delight were possibly even more irritating than if they did. Even an appearance from the fabulous Wallace Shawn as the psychiatrist, delivering what is arguably the best line of the entire film, (‘Denial is not just a river in Egypt’) could not save this god-awful family flick. And just when the film could not get worse, the cast come together to do a reworking of Insane In The Membrane over the credits. If nothing else, Furry Vengeance is at least consistent – an assault of bad taste right to the final credits.
0/5
A note: I really, truly feel that this was a goddamn awful film (and I'm not entirely sure why I punish myself by taking all the inevitably awful family film reviews)... But I feel like I should mention that the embedding appropriated imagery in the animals thought bubbles, towards the end, was a nice touch. That being said, I also feel that if you have made the decision against anthropomorphic talking animals - you really need to commit. Having animals that constantly chuckle and giggle like a retarded toddler, is potentially more annoying than having one that is voiced by Pauly Shore.